Live your life to the fullest by touching the life of others=)

PROFILE

IMGP0062.jpg (image) [IMGP0062.jpg]

Tan Yu Ren A.K.A FUJI A.K.A Xiao Ren A.K.A Raymond Adrian Tan Yu Dren
19
31/3/90

MOTTO: LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST BY TOUCHING THE LIFE OF OTHERS =)

Maha Bodhi School 1I,2B,3B,4B,5G,6G
Manjusri Secondary School 1I,2I,3I,4I
Temasek Polytechnic
Law and Management
1L03
2L03
3L03
Echoes Of The Valley Chinese Orchestra
Temasek Polytechnic Chinese Orchestra
Manjusri Chinese Orchestra

WISHLIST

NO birthday celebration every year

DRIVE

New dizi

world peace

friends to be happy

less performance

a brain

shoe

Money

WORDS

ESCAPE

CREDITS
Design & Picture by anna
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NAME';return true"href="http://www.thefacadeofthe20hundreds.blogspot.com">BERNADETTE =DDD
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>

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I don`t know what i`ve been thinking lately,

but I really do enjoy talking to lj. Thx=)

I think that`s the way how life works for me,

I actually feel tired when I go to school.

It`s not physically, but mentally.

For those sec 4 students leaving your secondary school for poly,

Please please please, for god`s sake, study what you really like to study.

Im a living example of getting mental torture everytime I come to school.

During my first year in TP, I always thought that I could force myself to study even though I don`t realy like what im studying now.

People out there always have a mindset that it`s not bad to come into this course and everytime people ask me which course im in, the reaction will always be the same " WA!!! *jaw and eyes open*".

After getting in touch with some of the subjects, I really think this road is not meant for me.

My results are really horrible, and of course I have to blame myself for not studying hard enough. Expectations are always above the sky, the moment you never reach it, you've failed your expectations; the logic is as simple as abc.

I always wonder why people can get good grades and enjoy those really horrifying subjects around the clock 24/7.

And I can be honest with you, I really take it into heart when I got low gradessssss, who doesn`t?

I always can`t find the reason of why people can do it but why can`t I? Those motivation talks in secondary school always taught us that " IF YOU THINK YOU CAN, YOU CAN". Which I think is subjective, as for me, its BULLSHIT.

I`ve been enveloping myself in this sentence when demoralization takes place. It don`t work for me, and it really bothers me.

Recently, I`ve learnt to look things in a different manner because I have my answer to my question which makes me feel less torturing.

My resolution is different from others.

I have a different mindset the moment I step into this course, my classmate's goal and aim is to get a law degree or something along that line. For me, its a total different case.

I don`t aim for a law degree, I aim for understanding how law works in Singapore. At the end of 3 years, I want to get a taste of this fraternity. So, I will reserve my comments until after I graduate.

So, these 2 years I`ve been living in self denial. Im not truthful to myself fom the start. I chose to deceive myself, thinking that I can live off without thinking that this is not the thing I want to study. A BIG FAT OXYMORON.

Its still too early to decide where I want to go now, so I hope I can still cope with everything. I guess it will be tough for me to drag myself to study. Its the same fear as forcing yourself to watch eerie-ghost movie when you know you are scared of it.

Im proud of myself with such bravery and guts to do such a thing. You dare?

At least im not that irresponsible, I do my part for project, I don`t drag my project mates into deep shit even though I dread doing things that I don`t like. Stubborn? No..Im just being rational.

I have no say in giving up but just to accept the fact that im already in this piece of shit.

At the very least, I know what I want in life, my dream doesn`t need to compromise with reality. DARE to dream...

Wish me luck=)

Labels: long await dream

11:25 PM